Honoring Every Father Figure: Grandparents, Mentors, Uncles and More

Today, the third Sunday of June, is Father’s Day. For many families, the day is about dad. But family life is wonderfully varied. Many children are raised or guided by grandfathers, uncles, older brothers, stepfathers, foster fathers, godfathers, coaches, teachers, faith leaders, mentors and neighbors who step in when needed. Some kids have two dads; some have none in their lives; some are raised by moms or grandmothers who fill every role. A community-minded Father’s Day makes room for all these relationships.

Who Counts as a Father Figure?

A father figure is anyone who provides guidance, encouragement, care or a steady presence in a young person’s life. Examples include:

• Grandfathers and great-grandfathers
• Uncles, older cousins and brothers
• Stepfathers and foster fathers
• Godfathers and family friends
• Coaches, teachers and youth leaders
• Mentors and tutors
• Neighbors who keep an eye out and lend a hand

Recognizing these people tells children that the adults who show up for them matter, and tells those adults that their care makes a difference.

Ways Kids Can Honor a Father Figure

• Write a thank-you letter. Prompts: “One thing you taught me is…” “I remember when you…” “Thank you for…”
• Make a “skills I learned from you” list. Riding a bike, fixing a flat, cooking a favorite meal, telling a good joke.
• Spend time doing their favorite activity. Fishing, gardening, walking, playing cards, listening to music.
• Interview them. Ask about their childhood, first job or favorite memory, and record it with permission.
• Share a meal. Cook something together or bring them a favorite treat.
• Create a photo collage of moments together.

Recognizing Mentors and Community Father Figures

Coaches, mentors and neighbors often do not get recognized on Father’s Day, but their impact can be huge. Simple gestures:

• A handwritten card dropped off at practice, the community center or their door
• A short message: “Thank you for always believing in me.”
• A public thank-you at a team, youth group or faith gathering, if they are comfortable with recognition
• An invitation to a family cookout

Adults who mentor kids often wonder whether they are making a difference. A simple thank-you answers that question.

Making Group Celebrations Inclusive

Schools, camps, youth programs and faith communities often plan Father’s Day activities. To make sure no child feels left out:

• Use broad language: “Make a card for a dad, grandparent or special grown-up in your life.”
• Let kids choose whom to honor without explaining why.
• Avoid assumptions about who lives in each child’s home.
• Offer alternatives for children who would rather make a card for someone else, like a mom, aunt or caregiver.
• Be alert to grief. For children who have lost a father, the day can be painful. A quiet check-in or the option to make a memory card can help.

Supporting Dads Who Are Struggling

Father’s Day can be hard for some fathers too: dads who are separated from their children, dads who have lost a child, dads who are unemployed or under stress, and men who wanted to be fathers but are not. Neighbors and friends can help by:

• Reaching out with a simple, kind message
• Inviting them to join a gathering without pressure
• Listening without judgment
• Pointing to supportive resources, such as Mass 211 for referrals to community services, if they ask

Honoring Older Father Figures

Grandfathers and older men in the community may especially appreciate:

• A visit or phone call
• Help with a task they find hard now, like yard work or a home repair
• A chance to share stories and wisdom
• Being included in family photos and celebrations

Many older men live alone. A card or visit from a neighbor’s child can brighten the day.

Starting a Mentoring Connection

Father’s Day is also a good time to consider becoming a positive presence for young people. Ways to start include:

• Volunteering as a reading buddy at the library
• Coaching or assisting with a youth activity
• Joining a formal mentoring program through a school or community organization (expect background checks and training)
• Being a reliable, friendly neighbor to the kids on your street, with parents’ trust

A Simple Father’s Day Gratitude Exercise

At dinner or around the table, invite everyone to answer:

1. Who is a man, or any adult, who helped you grow up?
2. What is one thing they taught you?
3. Have you ever thanked them?

If the answer to the last question is “no,” consider sending a message this week.

Sample Thank-You Messages

• “Happy Father’s Day to someone who has always been there. Thank you for everything.”
• “Coach, thank you for teaching us to keep going. Happy Father’s Day.”
• “Grandpa, thanks for all the stories and the pancakes. Love you.”
• “Thank you for being such a great neighbor to our family. Happy Father’s Day.”

A Note for Mentors and Father Figures

If you are a grandfather, uncle, coach or neighbor who quietly shows up for a young person, know that it matters. Kids remember the adults who listened, who came to their events and who were steady when things were hard. You do not need to be perfect. Consistency, patience and kindness are what young people carry with them.

Bringing It Together

Fatherhood comes in many forms, and so does family. When communities recognize every adult who steps up for kids, children learn that love and responsibility are shared, and that they are surrounded by people who care. That is a gift worth celebrating today and every day.