Memorial Day, observed on the last Monday in May, is often seen as the unofficial start of summer. Beaches open, grills are fired up and families gather for the long weekend. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the day. But at its heart, Memorial Day is a time to remember the men and women who died while serving in the United States military.
Holding both of these things together, celebration of community and solemn remembrance, is part of how many Americans observe the day. This guide offers simple, respectful ways for families, friends and neighbors to make remembrance a meaningful part of the weekend.
Begin the Day With Intention
A small act in the morning can set the tone for the whole day.
- Fly the flag at half-staff until noon: If you display a U.S. flag, raise it briskly to the top, lower it to half-staff until noon, then raise it to full staff for the rest of the day.
- Share a moment at breakfast: Before the day’s activities, talk briefly as a family about why the holiday exists.
- Read a name: Look up a service member from your community who died in service and share their story.
Attend a Local Ceremony
Cities and towns across Massachusetts and New England hold Memorial Day observances. These may include parades, wreath-laying ceremonies at memorials, readings of names and the playing of Taps. Check your town’s website, local newspaper or community bulletin boards for times and locations.
Attending a ceremony shows support for veterans and Gold Star families in your community. Arrive early, dress respectfully, silence your phone and follow the lead of organizers during moments of silence.
Pause at 3 p.m.
The National Moment of Remembrance invites everyone to pause for one minute at 3 p.m. local time on Memorial Day. Wherever you are, at a cookout, a beach or a park, take a moment of silence to remember those who gave their lives.
Consider making it a shared moment. At a family barbecue, gather everyone just before 3 p.m., explain the tradition and observe the minute together. Children often remember these moments long after the day is over.
The Story of the Red Poppy
Red poppies have become a symbol of remembrance for fallen service members. The tradition is linked to the World War I poem “In Flanders Fields,” written by Canadian physician John McCrae, which describes poppies growing among soldiers’ graves. Many veterans’ organizations distribute paper poppies around Memorial Day. Wearing one, or reading the poem aloud with family, is a simple way to connect with the meaning of the day.
Visit a Memorial or Cemetery
Many families visit cemeteries on Memorial Day to honor loved ones. Others visit local war memorials or national cemeteries to pay respects. When visiting:
- Walk quietly and give space to families who are grieving.
- Read names on markers and memorials.
- Leave a small token, such as a flower, if the site allows it.
- Follow cemetery rules about decorations and photography.
Remembering Your Own Family History
Some families have members who died in military service, sometimes generations ago. Memorial Day is a natural time to explore that history.
- Ask older relatives about family members who served and did not return.
- Look through family photos, letters or documents together.
- Visit the library to research service records or local newspaper archives.
- Write down stories so younger generations can remember.
- Cook a favorite recipe connected to that family member.
Supporting Gold Star Families
Gold Star families, those who have lost a loved one in military service, carry the meaning of Memorial Day every day. If you know a Gold Star family, consider reaching out.
- Send a brief note saying you are thinking of them and remembering their loved one by name.
- Invite them to a gathering, while respecting their wish to observe privately.
- Offer practical help or simply your company.
- Avoid saying “Happy Memorial Day” to Gold Star families; a simple “I’m remembering your son today” is more fitting.
Teaching Children About Remembrance
Children can participate meaningfully in age-appropriate ways.
- Explain that Memorial Day honors people who died while serving the country.
- Make paper poppies together and talk about what they symbolize.
- Attend a parade and talk afterward about what they saw.
- Write a short note of remembrance to place at a memorial, if permitted.
- Read an age-appropriate library book about Memorial Day.
Balancing Celebration and Remembrance
Many veterans and military families say they are glad to see communities gathering on Memorial Day. Time with family and friends is part of what service members protected. The goal is not to make the day joyless, but to make sure remembrance is part of it.
A family cookout that includes a moment of silence, a story about a fallen service member or a visit to a memorial in the morning strikes that balance well.
If the Day Is Hard for You
For veterans who lost friends, and for families who lost loved ones, Memorial Day can bring grief to the surface. It is okay to observe quietly, skip crowds or reach out to others who understand. If you or someone you know is in crisis, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text at 988; veterans can press 1 to connect with the Veterans Crisis Line.
A Memorial Day Checklist
- Fly the flag at half-staff until noon, then full staff
- Attend a local ceremony or parade
- Pause for the National Moment of Remembrance at 3 p.m.
- Learn about one service member from your community
- Reach out to a Gold Star family you know
- Include a moment of remembrance at any gathering
Remembering those who died in service does not require grand gestures. A name spoken aloud, a minute of silence and a family story passed down can carry their memory forward for another generation.
Quick check: At what time is the National Moment of Remembrance observed on Memorial Day?
- Noon
- 3 p.m. local time
- Sunset
Show answer
B. Americans are invited to pause for one minute at 3 p.m. local time to remember the fallen.
