Supporting Military and Veteran Families in Your Community

May brings Armed Forces Day and Memorial Day, two observances that turn public attention toward the military. But behind every service member is a family, and those families carry their own challenges long after the parades end. Spouses manage households alone during deployments, children change schools with each move, and caregivers support veterans living with injuries or illness.

Neighbors, schools, faith communities and local groups can make a real difference. This guide offers practical, respectful ways to support military and veteran families throughout the year.

Understanding What Families Face

Military life varies widely, but some common experiences include:

• Deployments and training: Long separations that leave one parent managing everything at home.
• Frequent moves: Active-duty families often relocate every few years, losing friendships and support networks each time.
• Career disruption: Spouses may struggle to keep jobs or licenses across state lines.
• Children’s transitions: New schools, new friends and worry about a deployed parent.
• Reintegration: Adjusting when a service member returns home after a long absence.
• Caregiving: Families of veterans with injuries or illnesses may provide daily care for years.
• Grief: Gold Star families live with the loss of a loved one who died in service.

Practical Help During Deployments

When one parent is deployed, the other often carries a heavy load. Concrete help makes a real difference.

• Offer to mow the lawn, shovel snow next winter or take out trash and recycling.
• Provide occasional childcare so the at-home parent can rest or run errands.
• Drop off a meal, arranged ahead of time.
• Invite the family to neighborhood gatherings and holidays.
• Offer rides to appointments or school events.
• Be someone to call if something breaks or goes wrong.

As with any family, specific offers are easier to accept. “Can I take the kids to the park on Saturday?” works better than “Let me know if you need anything.”

Welcoming Families Who Move In

Military families often arrive in a new community without knowing anyone. A warm welcome can ease the transition.

1. Introduce yourself and share your contact information.
2. Offer recommendations for doctors, grocery stores, parks and libraries.
3. Invite children to play with neighborhood kids.
4. Share information about local events and community groups.
5. Check in after a few weeks, once the boxes are unpacked and loneliness can set in.

Supporting Children

Children in military families may feel proud, worried, lonely or all three at once. Teachers, coaches and youth leaders can help by being aware of a child’s situation and offering steady encouragement. Neighbors can include children in activities and celebrations, especially when a parent is away. Simple consistency, like a weekly walk to the library or a regular playdate, can help children feel grounded.

Supporting Veteran Caregivers

Family members who care for veterans with service-connected injuries or illnesses often go unrecognized. Caregiving can be exhausting and isolating.

• Offer respite: an hour or two of company for the veteran so the caregiver can take a break, if the family welcomes it.
• Help with household chores, errands or yard work.
• Send a note recognizing their dedication.
• Invite the caregiver to social events, with flexibility if they need to cancel.

Honoring Gold Star Families

For families who have lost a loved one in military service, Memorial Day is deeply personal. Kind gestures can mean a great deal.

• Say the name of their loved one and share a memory if you have one.
• Reach out before Memorial Day with a brief, caring message.
• Invite them to attend a ceremony together, or respect their wish to observe privately.
• Remember significant dates, such as birthdays and anniversaries.

Connecting Families With Resources

You do not need to know every program to help. In Massachusetts, every city and town has a veterans’ services officer who helps veterans and their families learn about benefits and local resources. Mass 211 can also help families find services. If a veteran or family member is in crisis, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available by call or text; veterans can press 1 after dialing 988 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.

Community and Group Ideas

Schools, faith communities, workplaces and civic groups can organize ongoing support.

• Create a volunteer list of neighbors willing to help families during deployments.
• Host a family-friendly gathering around Armed Forces Day.
• Write cards for service members through an established program.
• Offer professional skills, such as résumé help for military spouses seeking new jobs.
• Support local veteran-owned businesses.

Welcoming Service Members Home

A returning service member and their family may need time to readjust. Routines have shifted, children have grown and everyone is adapting. Neighbors can help by offering a warm welcome without overwhelming the family. A simple card, a meal drop-off and patience go a long way. Let the family set the pace for visits and celebrations.

What Not to Do

• Avoid asking intrusive questions about combat, injuries or deployments.
• Do not assume every veteran has the same politics, experiences or feelings about service.
• Do not wait until a holiday to offer support; needs exist year-round.
• Do not overpromise; reliable, small help is better than big plans that fall through.

A Neighbor’s Checklist

• Learn which neighbors are military or veteran families
• Offer one specific, practical form of help
• Include children and spouses in neighborhood life
• Recognize caregivers and Gold Star families
• Know about your town’s veterans’ services officer and Mass 211
• Keep support going after May

Supporting military and veteran families is not about grand gestures. It is about showing up, again and again, as a good neighbor.