The High Holy Days: A Neighborly Awareness Guide

Each year in September or early October, Jewish communities observe the High Holy Days, also called the Days of Awe. The season begins with Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and ends ten days later with Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. Because the Jewish calendar follows the moon as well as the sun, the dates shift from year to year on the standard calendar.

Boston and New England are home to many Jewish families and congregations, and chances are you have Jewish neighbors, classmates, coworkers or friends. You do not need to be an expert to be thoughtful during this season. This guide offers a simple, respectful overview and practical tips for being a considerate neighbor and community member.

A Brief Overview

Practices vary widely among Jewish people, from very observant to more cultural or secular, so it is always best to follow the lead of the people you know. In general terms:

• Rosh Hashanah marks the beginning of the Jewish year. It is a time of reflection, prayer and celebration. Many families gather for festive meals, and a common custom is eating apples dipped in honey to wish for a sweet new year. Many synagogues sound the shofar, a ram’s horn.
• The days between are a period of reflection and seeking to make amends with others.
• Yom Kippur is often considered the holiest day of the Jewish year. Many observant adults fast for about twenty-five hours, from sundown to nightfall the next day, and spend much of the day in prayer. It is a solemn day of reflection and atonement.

Jewish holidays begin at sundown the evening before the date listed on many calendars, which is helpful to remember when planning.

Respectful Greetings

A simple, warm greeting is always welcome. Some common ones:

• For Rosh Hashanah: “Shanah tovah,” which means “a good year,” or simply “Happy New Year.”
• For Yom Kippur: Because it is a solemn day, “Happy Yom Kippur” is not quite right. Many people say “Have an easy fast” or “Have a meaningful fast.” Some say “G’mar chatimah tovah,” a traditional wish to be inscribed for a good year.

If you are unsure, it is perfectly fine to say, “I know it’s an important time of year for you. I hope it’s a meaningful one.”

Thoughtful Scheduling

One of the most helpful things community organizers, schools, employers and neighbors can do is avoid scheduling important events on the High Holy Days.

1. Check an interfaith calendar when planning fall events, meetings and deadlines.
2. Remember the evening start. An event on the evening before a holiday may conflict with family meals or services.
3. Avoid key decisions or votes at neighborhood meetings on those days, since some residents cannot attend.
4. Offer alternatives such as recorded meetings, flexible deadlines or a second session.
5. Ask rather than assume. If you are not sure whether a date works, ask the people involved.

Being a Good Neighbor During the Holidays

• Parking and traffic: Synagogues may be busier than usual. Be patient with extra traffic and parked cars on nearby streets.
• Noise: Consider timing loud yard work or projects so they do not coincide with neighbors walking to and from services.
• Food at gatherings: If you host a gathering during the season and invite Jewish neighbors, ask about any food preferences or dietary practices, such as keeping kosher. Do not assume.
• Yom Kippur fasting: Avoid scheduling lunch meetings or food-centered events on Yom Kippur. If a coworker is fasting, a little understanding goes a long way.

For Schools and Youth Programs

Students who observe the holidays may miss school, practices or rehearsals. Helpful steps include:

• Avoiding tests, major assignments and tryouts on the holidays
• Allowing students to make up work without penalty
• Making sure absent students are not left out of important announcements
• Including the holidays on school and program calendars

Learning More, Respectfully

If you are curious about the traditions, there are good ways to learn.

• Visit your local library for books about Jewish holidays for children and adults.
• Some synagogues and Jewish community centers offer public programs or welcome visitors at certain events. Check ahead and follow their guidance.
• If a friend or neighbor offers to share their traditions, accept with gratitude and ask respectful questions.

Remember that no single person speaks for an entire community, and people practice in many different ways. Curiosity is welcome. Pressure is not.

A Season of Reflection for Everyone

Many of the themes of the High Holy Days, such as reflection, making amends and starting fresh, resonate with people of many backgrounds. Without borrowing or appropriating traditions, neighbors of any faith can appreciate the value of taking stock, apologizing when needed and wishing each other a good year ahead.

Building an Inclusive Calendar Year-Round

The High Holy Days are one example of why inclusive planning matters. Communities in Boston and New England observe many religious and cultural holidays throughout the year. Neighborhood groups, schools and workplaces that keep an interfaith calendar and plan around major observances send a clear message: everyone belongs here, and everyone’s important days matter.

Quick Reference

• Holidays begin at sundown the evening before.
• “Shanah tovah” is a common Rosh Hashanah greeting.
• “Have an easy fast” or “have a meaningful fast” is appropriate for Yom Kippur.
• Avoid scheduling important events and food-centered gatherings on these days.
• When in doubt, ask kindly.